Posts Tagged ‘law of attraction’

Sometimes I feel like a Duck

September 26, 2011

Our little black bear.

The image of this sweet confused young bear’s face is burned into my mind.  A week ago, we raised the deck door window shade, and much to our surprise and delight, there she was – sitting sideways under the pine tree, looking back at us with as much surprise and confusion as we at her.  We shared a few quiet moments before she ably lumbered over the fence into our neighbors’ yard.

We excitedly followed her progress over the next day, hearing that the DOW was going to let her find her way back to the mountains as long as she didn’t become a nuisance.  And then we got the news that 3 overzealous men from the DOW had shot her full of tranquilizers, causing her to fall out of a neighborhood tree, ultimately dying from her injuries.

What to do with that news?  So much anger, sadness and helplessness.  I cried a lot.  I keep seeing that sweet inquisitive face, and wondering why people have to be so hurtful and well, stupid.

Bear Medicine: Introspection

I kept thinking about this bear visit all week, and the gift she brought us.  It slowed me down from the usual daily race, and helped me remember that with all the crazy things going on in the world that we encounter, the only thing we truly can control are our individual reactions to the craziness.

I also started re-developing some focus again on myself, on routines that are healthful for my own body, mind, and spirit.  Thanks to my bear visit, I’ve been awakened from the trance yet again.

Ducks on the Long Arm machine.

What’s on the Long Arm Machine?

One of the routines I’ve been redeveloping this past week is to get into the studio and do some art each day, even if it’s only for a short while.  I had forgotten how much of a stress relief it is for me to have that daily meditative time, creating my art.

I’ve been focused on finishing a piece I started several months ago.  I finished constructing the top (pieced and appliqued fabrics which I hand-dyed and screen-printed) awhile ago and now am adding the drawing/stitching on the long arm.

The idea for this piece came from one of my vivid night dreams.  As I’ve worked to turn that dream image into a physical work of art, it has become a bold and graphic representation of how I felt in that dream.

Reconnecting with this piece, spending a little time each night in the studio working to finish it has helped me get back into a meditative rhythm not only with my art, but with myself.

Ducks getting stitched on the long arm.

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In the Flow

July 19, 2010

Tangled Web #4 (c) 2010 Ayn Hanna (24"x24") Textile Painting (cotton canvas, cotton fabric hand-dyed by the artist, paint, paint sticks, metallic thread

I wrote a post last month about Feeling My Way where I introduced my work-in-progress on these Tangled Web textile paintings.  It’s been very intriguing to me how these pieces have evolved so I wanted to capture the story as it is happening.

First, in that earlier post, I didn’t include a photo of this image above, Tangled Web #4, primarily because I thought it was a lost cause and that I probably wasn’t going to pursue completing it and instead would just go with finishing the 3 others in the group which I had some excitement about.  This poor little #4 piece was off on it’s own.  I thought it was boring and flat compared to the others.

And then a funny thing happened.  I think I was procrastinating about diving in to finishing the other 3 pieces (because I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do to finish them and I didn’t want to “mess them up” or perhaps ruin them by working on them without having a clear picture in mind of what I was trying to get them to be), and so, I picked #4 back up and started working with it, because hey, it was a lost cause so whatever I might do to it wasn’t going to matter…I couldn’t mess it up or ruin it because it was already a goner, right?

And so I gave myself permission, and free reign to play, and it was exhilarating and FUN!  And before I knew it, I had cut it up and it became this very engaging, exciting, and energized piece which I loved!  Not only that, but it became so interesting that all of a sudden as I looked at the other 3 pieces up on the design wall, THEY now started to seem less interesting and even a bit boring!  Oh my gosh, what have I done?

Ok, so what just happened here?

1.  I do believe that I (as we all are) am constantly changing and becoming my next self.  I am not the same person today that I was yesterday, this morning, or an hour ago.  What looked like an interesting (or boring) work in progress yesterday, now appears different because I am different – fascinating stuff!

2. I have a big picture plan, am practicing Law of Attraction and am very tapped into my feelings these days.  I’m really concentrating on staying in touch with how I am feeling as I make my way through my day.  And I’m especially tuned into noticing the things that make me feel good, fully experiencing that good feeling, and drawing more of that same stuff to me.

3. In combination with #2, I’m also trying to soothe myself into enjoying more of moving ahead without a clear picture of where I’m going.  It’s a teeter-totter between the rush of excitement and adventure of a wild ride, and some hesitance because of the unknown.  But what I’ve discovered here recently (and this played out for me in the course of completing Tangled Web #4), is when I Trust that what I am getting is the good stuff that I’m drawing to myself, I’m much more OK with moving ahead along the path without clearly knowing the destination.  And what’s more is that I am LOVING this journey!

Don’t get me wrong – I am a major Planner, and I do have a big picture plan and I have my compass set, but I’m also really realizing how much more fun the journey is when there’s some mystery to it and it isn’t all planned out.  You never know what might be around that next corner, but it’s bound to be something really cool and interesting and whatever it is, I will appreciate and embrace it because it’s what I’ve drawn to myself.

I knew on some level when I started these Tangled Web pieces that they are significant and have some importance.  They emerged from within and I have been getting to know them as they are developing.  It’s so interesting to me that #4 is the first one to be completed, especially since it was headed for the trash, and it causes me to see the other 3 so differently now.  It’s also helped me understand and put into words what is going on with my own personal development.  I know there’s more to come as I finish the others as well.

I did dive into working on #1 after finishing #4 and it is close to complete now as well (photo below).   I’ll post the final image once it’s complete and write my thoughts about it once I have the words to talk about it.

Tangled Web #1 (c) 2010 Ayn Hanna (24"x24") Textile Painting (cotton canvas, cotton fabric hand-dyed by the artist, paint, paint sticks, cotton and wool threads)

Feeling My Way and New Work in Progress

June 28, 2010

Finding the Feeling Place

Tangled Web #1 (in progress) (c) 2010 Ayn Hanna (24" x 24") Textile Painting (cotton canvas, hand-dyed cotton, fabric paint, paint sticks)

Time is flying by and it’s been awhile since my last post.  I have been busy with multiple tasks – the day job, starting some new artwork and contemplating my creative career path, de-cluttering and making space at home – preparing for my life partner to move here in Aug, and trying to keep on a regular exercise schedule.   It can be a bit overwhelming sometimes – just re-reading that last sentence gets my adrenaline going!

I’ve got lots going on in my mind-many, many thoughts, and very exhaustive, vivid dreams.  There are lots of really good things happening and I’ve got some goals and plans defined.  But in many ways, things are very unclear for me right now, and even though that is an uncomfortable place for me to be, I know it’s exactly where I need to be.  I am smack dab in the middle of “It”, figuring “It” out, day by day.

I have some great tools, resources, and helpful guides, all of which I am calling upon to help me figure this path out.  Some days it seems clear, and others, not so much.  There’s a part of me that would love to be able to see (and articulate) my career plan for the next 5, or 10 years, but I’m just not there right now.   So, I’m doing a lot of contemplating, asking lots of questions, and tuning into my feelings, finding what feels good and visioning more of that in my life.  The rest will come eventually.  This is a new approach for me, slowing down instead of speeding up, when I’m not sure of my next move, so the process is just as new and uncomfortable right now as not knowing the path.  This is a grand journey!

Speaking of what feels good….  My “Wall Drawing” textile painting was selected for the “Evolutions 2010” show at the Rocky Mountain Quilt Museum, Aug 3 – Oct 30 with an opening reception on Aug 6.  If you live near Golden, CO, I hope you will drop by to see the show.   While completing this piece, I got some new ideas for more work with this subject matter/forms, so I’ve now started planning the next textile painting in this series.  I’m excited to see how this will evolve.

New Work in Progress – Tangled Webs

While I’m planning my next piece in the Wall Drawing series, above and below are some new pieces that I already have in progress.

Tangled Web #2 (in progress) (c) 2010 Ayn Hanna (24" x 24") Textile Painting (cotton canvas, hand-dyed cotton, fabric paint, paint sticks)

I started these a few months ago.  They emerged as I was doodling and day dreaming and they have been another exploration of techniques – resists, fabric paints, and paint sticks.   I created the “webbed” imagery through application of multiple layers of resists (both painted on and physical objects laid on) and fabric paints as well as paint sticks.  I didn’t take any in-process photos as I was too wrapped up in “the doing” and forgot to, but I think I’ll have more opportunity to do so in the future because this technique seemed so natural to me, I’m sure I’ll be doing more with it.  I like the contrast of the rich textured dark painted/resisted web drawings with the subtle light valued, airy border fabric which are pieces of my own hand-dyed fabric.

Tangled Web #3 (in progress) (c) Ayn Hanna (24" x 24") Textile Painting (cotton canvas, hand-dyed cotton, fabric paint, paint sticks)

With these pieces especially, I am discovering that the imagery and “feel” or idea I have of my emerging subject matter seems to drive the techniques for realization of the finished work.  Each piece becomes what it needs to be. These are all works in progress, and I’m not really ready to talk much about them yet (I’m still working through my own understanding of them), but they are very intriguing to me, and have some importance.  I guess they are in some ways a parallel to what I’m feeling with my career right now too.  I have many questions that I am contemplating right now and I am feeling my way to discovering my next self.


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